Men Who Died For LOVE???

I was sent a text this morning by a dear friend...and it read:

Message from the Association of Men
Valentine died for love
Romeo also died for love
Jack in titanic died for love
Samson in the Bible died for love,
Greek heroes Hercules & Archilles died 4 love
... & even Jesus Christ died for love...
Wetin !! ?? 

Haba !!! where are the women?
       Una no sabi die? 
       Abi na only gift Una sabi collect?
       After Una go talk say boys no dey try. 
       No Gift again this valentine unless 
       ......una give us 10 names of women wey die for love.

       Oya!I de wait..

I decided to look this up on Google and this covered the source of this text. It was originally posted on Nairaland by a gentleman named 'Lecturerdabo' You may click on Nairaland or Lecturedabo to visit the site.  Unfortunately there was no means I could ready find by which to respond to Lecturerdabo's interesting post so I decided to do it via my blog.

My response:
Response 1:
To correct a misconception....you have,
1:  'Jesus is no ordinary man. You can not compare him with mere mortals'
2:  'HE died for ALL MANKIND'

Response 2:  The rest of men in question

Valentine (St Valentine): The reason St Valentine was killed (beheaded) was because he was marrying Christian couples and aiding Christians  who were being prosecuted  during the reign of Emperor Claudius II forbade it. "Apparently Claudius thought that married soldiers weren't as good as single soldiers"











Romeo (Romeo & Juliet): Romeo died after killing Paris (the man Juliet's family wanted her to marry) and seeing Juliet looked dead. If he was so in-love why did he not take her with him when he was exiled from Verona. After all they were already married (secret or no secret).
He died because he did something stupid (kill someone) and failed to realise Juliet was not dead. Act of love, I think not. Act of fear, stupidity, pride....I think so. 


Jack (In titanic): Jack and Rose first witness the ship collide with an iceberg. They decide to warn her mother and Carl (her Fiancé. Cal plants a necklace on Jack and accuses him of stealing it. Jack is arrested and handcuffed to a pipe down in the Master-at-arms's office.
1. Rose runs away from her mother who had boarded a life boat to release Jack.
2. Jack persuades Rose to board a lifeboat but as the boat was lowered and she discovers Jack wasn't coming, she jumps back on board the titanic to be with him.
3. When the ship broke in half, Jack and Rose rode the stern side of the ship (which had risen 90 degree into the air) into the sea. Unfortunately, Jack died of hypothermia not for love! In fact Juliet gave up her freedom from the sinking ship twice to be with Jack - now THAT is love.


Samson (In Samson & Delilah): Samson died of stupidity not love. First he was not interested in Delilah but her more beautiful sister ...he even told her so. After the sister was now beyond his reach, he then claims he was hopelessly in love with Delilah (that sounds like the claims of a horny man)
Besides how many times was Delilah going to call the Philistines on him (each time he revealed the secret of his strength) before he realised that she was setting a trap for him (that is plain stupidity of a very horny man who couldn't see beyond his short sticks)
Samson died because he found an opportunity to kill more Philistines than he ever taught he would be fortunate to ever get. He pushed the two central pillars (on which the Temple of Dagon stood) down subsequently killing himself and more Philistines than he ever did.

Archilles (Greek heroes): Achilles died because Paris (the son of Priam, King of Troy) hide in the bushes and shot Achilles' heel with a divine arrow (guided by the god Apollo), killing him. Apparently, Paris would have to give up Helen (Queen of Sparta) if Achilles married his sister (Polyxena, a Trojan princess). Another theory could be that Paris shot Achilles because he killed his bother Hector.
So Archilles was killed because of another man's hatred and not because he was in love.



Hercules (Greek heroes): Hercules died because of ignorance and revenge, again not because of Being in love. Ignorance on the part of his wife and hatred on the part of the centaur. When Hercules' wife suspected that Hercules was interested in another woman, she put the blood of a centaur (who had kidnapped and tried to rape her) on Hercules' tunic hoping it was a love potion that would return her husband's love to her. But the Centaur had tricked her. It was actually poison from the arrow that Hercules had killed the centaur with.
The poison burnt his skin exposing his bones and leaving him in agony but did not kill him as he was partly a god. He built himself a funeral pyre which his friend Poeas lit. His body burnt leaving his immortal body.

Response 3:
Further more, I will answer that question once a MAN can show me ONE man who has been selfless enough to carry a child from conception to birth (40 weeks)...sharing their food, protecting the child, etc....then going through the awful pains of child birth.
There is NO LOVE more pure, more selfless, more giving and less idiotic than a WOMAN'S LOVE. 
So, buying a woman a valentine's present, birthday present, mother's day gift, flowers -just-because, taking her out on occasions (date-nights) is the very least ANY MAN can do to show your appreciation.

Further read:
1: The dark origins of valentine's day
2: How did Achilles die?

How to stay married for long

"Marriage is hard.. you have to work at it, but it is worth it at the end," Maggie said to me when I first started this research.  Maggie is a 63 year old woman and has been married for 36 years.

I started out trying to write about the secret of a good marriage but somewhere along the way, I ended up with information from various married couples on how to stay married for a long time.  I guess you go where the story takes you, so here is a summarised version of my research on "how to stay married for long" from people who have been keeping it together for years.

Point 1: Sex slows down
Advice: 
1. It is important to have not just a good sex life but an absolutely amazing sex life, so - you should be open to talking about sex with each other, thinking about making love to each other, making love (sharing pure unadulterated sexual experience) to each other, learning about sex & how to improve your sex life, trying new things together

2. Allow sex/making love open up a connection between the two of you. Share sexual experiences (not necessarily intercourse) from the moment you wake up till the moment you go to sleep. Try different things:
- Massage each other
- Take a stroll cuddling/holding each other's hands
- Share picnics (for no particular reason)
- Send each other little text messages of love (you can even go outside the box - be provocative)
- Work on your sex life - learn together - practice what you learnt as soon as you re both alone
- Work on pleasing each other (that way, nobody gets left behind) 
- Play with each other as often as possible - (very good stress reliever)
- Flirt with each other (be outrageously flirtatious when alone and subtly flirtatious when with company)
- Share longing gazes across a crowded room
- Whispher sweet nothings ineach other's ears even when in a crowd
- Prepare meals together - share an informal meal together
- Read to each other
- Watch movies together
- Go on dates (no matter how long you've been married)
- Go to sleep in each other's arms (even if you are  too tired for sex, sleep cuddling each other)
-  Learn to connect/communicate with each other without talking (with your eyes, facial expression). Make it a secret conversation between you two


Point 2: Forsake all others (keeping your vow)
Advice: 
- Dress up even as an alter-ego
- Go out (Plan to meet in a bar or pub - pretend you've never met before - ask him/her for a dance)
- Try role plays (Doctor & Nurse etc)
- Do things together & share things you didn't do together 
- Share your day/ your dreams/ yourself with each other
- Look after each other/ support one another/ be sensitive & in tune to each other's needs
- Be there for one another emotionally, mentally, physically
- Ensure a bit of give & take - meet in the middle

Point 3: When there are kids...
Advice:  ......you become a carer and a bread winner
- Either you share the day to day management of the home if you both are working or 
one person takes the role of the carer (dealing with the day to day management of the home and the people in it) and the other takes the role of the bread winner (bringing in the bacon)
- There has to be a husband and there has to be a wife in the relationship. You can't both be the wife or the husband.
- Leave the kids with their grand parents for a night or the weekend - turn your home into a den of love. Remind each other why you fell in love in the first place. Eat off each other, have breakfast in bed, spend the day in bed pleasing each other.


Point 4: Make a change for the better - 
Advice: Each individual should carry out a self evaluation of themselves and the effect of their actions/behaviour on your relationship.  Just like you would evaluate your work/office/business performance and put in to effect strategies to effect a positive change, you must do the same of your relationship. Concentrate on working on yourself/improving yourself to make/bring about a positive effect in your relationship.

- Be a kind, understanding and honest friend instead of a bossy, yelling, manipulative controlling jerk
- Stop over-thinking things and start feeling with your heart
- Stop talking, yelling, arguing, being stubborn and start listening
- Stop comparing your relationship or yourselves to another...concentrate on making your relationship the best you can
- Never let the sun set on your anger or arguments (hence never go to sleep without resolving your issues, kissing and making up)
- Let your love as partners keep you two bonded together & creating something (relationship) that is quite beautiful

Point 5: Keep your marriage private - "respect the sanctity of your marriage" 
Advice: Do not bring the whole world into your relationship or marital issues, even if the person was the most understanding friend, wise uncle or aunt, most trusted member of your family or your most adored child.

- Discuss your issues level headed
- Try and work through all your issues
- Walk away from a heated argument and together resolve another time on the same day when you both can calmly discuss the issue. Remember it is very difficult to be rational when you are feeling very emotional/ upset/ angry/ exhausted/ hungry/anxious etc.
- Calmly discuss your issues. Listen to each other. Give each other time to speak. Remember nothing will be resolved if you are not totally honest with one another, tolerant of each other, respectful of each other's needs and feeling, accepting of each other's short comings, forgiving.

Her sister's man

I read somewhere...a woman confessed to the general public she was pregnant with her sister's baby and wanted to know whether she should confess to her sister.

Apparently, she had been sleeping with her sister's husband whenever the sister was away. She wanted to stop but every time she tried to, they did it again sometimes two three times in one day.

Lots of people were giving her advice like 'you are wicked, you should confess' 'you should not tell your sister because she doesn't need to know' 'go away and raise the child by yourself'
My thing was...
(1) she could be indirectly telling the sister knowing fully well she visits the site she posted her problem
(2) the sister could be one of the people giving her advice and not realising the post was about her.

What do you think??
Responses from Facebook.......................................................................................

Kaleb How? Sister's baby or sister's husband's baby? 12 December at 15:09 via mobile

Eke  As wonder wondered, hw come? 12 December at 22:25 via mobile

Oby Grace Nneka Okafor @ Kaleb, It is her sister's husband's baby 13 December at 10:24

 Oby Grace Nneka Okafor @Eke, well she got busy with her sister's husband when her sister was out of town for a couple of days....this escape resulted in her getting pregnant for her sister's husband. 13 December at 10:26

Frank  Grace i hope u aint the one????:/  14 December at 00:41 via mobile

Oby Grace Nneka Okafor hahaha!...My sis aint married....so am afraid it aiint me :-) 22 minutes ago

Kaleb  She didnt ask us durin d acquisition. Y does she ask us now?

Yesterday at 10:16 via mobile · Unlike · 1

Oby Grace Nneka Okafor @ Kaleb, that's an interesting question, I have this suspicion that she is not really asking what to do..... I feel she posted it where she knew her sister would read it...either 1: she couldn't muster the courage to tell her sister face to face or 2: she knows her sister would give her a major beat down if she tells her face to face or 3: may be the man is stopping her from telling the sister so she decided to post it online where she would read it

Yesterday at 10:57 · Edited · Like

Kaleb  Then, case closed Yesterday at 10:58 via mobile · Unlike · 1

Eke  The guy no get work? Abi the lady neva born for am? If so as the guy, like yakubu for bible the pikin is still your wife's child. She must born the pikin and we take care of the pikin. Kpere! 14 hours ago via mobile · Like

Kaleb  Yakubu 4 wch bible? 35 minutes ago via mobile · Unlike · 1

Oby Grace Nneka Okafor @ Eke, she isn't one of his concubines...at least I dont think :-)

about a minute ago · Like

Drunken Office Xmas Party

Office parties!

Yes, it's that time of the year. Lots of office Xmas parties going on in pubs, bars, restaurants and hotels. Also lots of good time people getting drunk and doing things they wouldn't do sober.

It reminds me of my work place Xmas party years back. Two of my colleagues quite over their head drunk got down and dirty on the dance floor. The thing is that one of them was newly married while the guy was newly engaged.
Another went out - took off his boxers, then proceeded to dance all night with his boxer on his head and a can of bear in one hand. And all these were captured not on camera but on video by a colleague of mine who then happily showed it to everyone at work the next day.

Suffice it to say that the 'dirty dancers' (for want of better words to use) were so uncomfortable, they guy kept away from the staff room while the lady tucked herself away in her office the rest of the week.

****I was listening to the radio this morning and a lady called in saying she had made out with her boss and needed advices.

Apparently, she and her work mates had gone out for an office Christmas party a couple of days ago. She got drunk. Anyway, she shared a cab home with her boss, who was also drunk and they had a hot make out session (shared a kiss) in the back of the cab.
Days after, none of them had mentioned the kiss and have been walking around the office like nothing happened.
The thing is...her boss is very cute, she fancies him (has the hots for him), wants to tell him and phoned into the radio station for advice.

The question is, if you were in the lady'sor her bosses's shoes - would you say something. I will post this on FB and find out what people think... Watch the below for the feedbacks...

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